I Surrender
by UnalignedSuccubus
Summary: Grief affects everyone in different ways. Bo lost her heart, Dyson lost his friend, Tamsin lost her everything. To get Kenzi back Bo needs Tamsin, she needs her to fight. Can Bo make Tamsin realise that she's not alone. My take on what should happen in Season 5, eventual Valkubus pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: After being left pretty disappointed with Lost Girl Season 4 I decided to write this, my take on how Season 5 should go. I have more than a few ideas, but the main two things I'll be sorting out are; getting Kenzi back from Valhalla and fixing Valkubus. It's going to be angsty, it's going to contain some pretty bad language, and it's going to end with everything fixed and as it should be. So settle back, get ready for a bumpy ride and please re-take your seats on the flying ship Valkubus. _**

Chapter One

Bo knew Kenzi's death was going to hit everyone pretty hard, she herself felt completely empty and numb, Dyson had thrown himself into his work, and Lauren was basically following Bo around like a lost puppy constantly asking her if she was okay. The biggest surprise for Bo was Tamsin's reaction. The Valkyrie had completely closed down. Shutting out everyone and everything that reminded her of the young human. She had spent every day so drunk that she barely remembered her own name. The warm, open Tamsin was long gone, the cold hearted, emotionless Valkyrie was back with a vengeance. The only times that Bo had seen Tamsin was when they were both at the Dal, Tamsin spent her nights passed out at Dyson's, unable to face the room she shared with Kenzi. Lauren had suggested to Bo that they get someone in to redecorate the room, removing all traces of the little Russian who used to call it home. Bo wasn't ready to do that, she wasn't ready to say goodbye to Kenzi, she didn't think she would ever be ready.

Kenzi had been Bo's link to her humanity, she made her feel normal and special all at the same time. Both girls had been lost before they met, Kenzi running from place to place from the age of 15 due to her abusive step-father, Bo running from place to place due to the fear of what she was. Kenzi made Bo realise that she wasn't a monster, she helped her embrace her inner-Succubus, made her see that she could be whatever she wanted to be. Bo didn't think she would ever be ready to let that go. There had to be a way to get Kenzi back, to bring her home, but Bo knew she would need the Valkyrie to do it. She needed Tamsin.

That morning Bo walked down the stairs of the Clubhouse, the silence was deafening, she missed the little things. The cursing in Russian, the loud music, the sound of gunfire as Kenzi saved the world from zombies. She also missed the sounds of Kenzi and Tamsin having a disagreement about who made the best coffee, the smell of pancakes as Tamsin cooked breakfast to help Kenzi get rid of the hangover she had from the night before. The Clubhouse was empty, it no longer felt like home to Bo. She spent as little time there as possible, always heading to the Dal as early as she could, or she'd stop by the Dark compound to see Lauren. Today she was going to the police station, she needed to talk to Tamsin, and if there was one person who would know where the Valkyrie was it would be Dyson.

Bo found the wolf sitting behind his desk, the desk opposite him still sitting empty. In a matter of weeks Dyson had lost Hale and Kenzi, the empty desk a constant reminder to him that things would never be the same.

"Hey…" Bo said, walking over to the desk.

"Bo," Dyson said, looking up at her, "what brings you here?"

Bo could tell from Dyson's eyes that he hadn't been sleeping, it bothered her to see him hurting so much.

"I need to talk to Tamsin," Bo said, "Do you know where she is?"

Dyson looked at the clock on the wall.

"She'll either still be asleep, getting drunk at the Dal, or she'll be at the graveyard." Dyson said.

Bo nodded.

"Okay…" she said, with a little smile, "thanks…"

"Are you okay?" he asked, "I mean I know it's a stupid question and everything, but how are you coping?"

"I'm okay," Bo said, "as for coping, I'm not, I will get her back Dyson."

Dyson nodded. He knew that Bo would go to the ends of the Earth and back to bring Kenzi home. He also knew she couldn't do it alone. He knew she needed Tamsin, he also knew that Tamsin was nothing but an empty shell.

"Don't push her too hard…" he said, "if you do you'll get a hostile reaction."

"How is she?" Bo asked.

"She's closed down," Dyson said, "I barely get a word out of her when she gets to the loft in the early hours of the morning. I don't think she's ever felt a loss like this, it's new for her and she doesn't know how to deal with it."

"Well shutting us all out isn't going to help is it," Bo said, "we're all hurting, we're all missing Kenzi…"

"Just don't expect too much." Dyson said.

x-x

The first place that Bo checked for Tamsin was the graveyard, as she approached Kenzi's grave she knew she wouldn't have to look anywhere else. The Valkyrie was sitting cross-legged in front of the headstone, a bottle of Vodka in her hand. Bo stopped near a tree, close to the grave but far enough away that Tamsin didn't know she was there. The heartbreak that was written across the Valkyrie's face making her eyes burn with fresh tears.

"Oh and another thing," Tamsin said, "leaving me alone was a shit thing to do meat-bag… I mean I knew I'd lose you at some point, but I didn't expect it to be so soon… you made me understand what living really was… and then you just fucking decide to check out before I was ready to let you go…"

The tears started to silently fall from Bo's eyes, she knew deep down that she shouldn't be listening to this, but she couldn't walk away.

"This is why I don't let people in," Tamsin continued, "this is why I don't let people get close… I can't deal with this shit… I need you Kenz… you shouldn't have even been there… I should have kept you safe…"

Bo had heard enough, slowly she walked over to the grave.

"Hey…" she said.

She saw Tamsin quickly wipe the tears from her eyes before she stood up and turned to face her.

"How long have you been here?" Tamsin asked.

"Just got here." Bo replied.

Tamsin nodded a little.

"I didn't realise anyone else would be here," Bo said, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No," Tamsin said, "I'm just leaving anyway…"

Tamsin turned back and took one last look at the headstone, walking over to it she ran her fingers over the gold writing.

"Tamsin…" Bo said, tears again building in her eyes.

"Don't…" Tamsin said, not looking at Bo.

"I miss her too." Bo said.

"I said don't…" Tamsin replied, looking at Bo.

"Don't shut us out Tamsin." Bo said.

"What else do you suggest Succubus?" Tamsin asked, "we all sit around and cry about it together, sharing all our memories… she raised me Bo… she's the closest thing I've ever had to a… family and now she's gone. Without her nothing else matters."

"I get it T," Bo said, "I really do… please don't push me away."

Tamsin laughed a little.

"Whatever," she said, "later Succubus."

With that Tamsin turned and walked away, leaving Bo standing there looking at her best friend's final resting place.

"Not final…" Bo said, "I will get you back Kenz… I wish you were here to help me deal with Tamsin though, Trick told me that I need a Valkyrie to get me into Valhalla, I need her… I miss you Kenzi…"

x-x

Later that day Bo was sitting on the sofa at the Clubhouse when the door opened and Tamsin walked in.

"Hey…" Bo said, standing up.

"I'm only here to pick up some things," Tamsin said, "I'm staying with Dyson…"

"Okay…" Bo replied, "Your things are still upstairs, the room… everything is still there."

Tamsin nodded and headed up stairs. As soon as she got to the top of the stairs she stopped. The room was exactly like Kenzi had left it, she hadn't been back there since it happened. She walked over to the wardrobe where her clothes were, taking the bag out of the bottom of the wardrobe she started to put her things in it, not looking at Kenzi's side of the room. She couldn't. Tamsin walked over to the chest of drawers, opening the top drawer to get her t-shirts out, before remembering that she and Kenzi had rearranged the drawers, moving Kenzi's stuff into the top one. Tamsin clenched her jaw as she took out Kenzi's favourite over-sized t-shirt that she used to sleep in when it was too warm for PJ's. Sitting on her bed Tamsin couldn't stop the tears falling as she brought the shirt up to her face and breathed in the scent of the human who had changed her life in more ways that she would ever know.

Bo stood on the stairs as Tamsin broke down. Against her better judgement she walked into the room and sat on the bed next to the Valkyrie. Without saying a word she put her arm around Tamsin's shoulder and the blonde broke down even more.

"It's okay Tamsin…" Bo said, her own tears starting to fall, "I've got you…"

"I don't know what I'm going to do…" Tamsin said, "Every morning I wake up thinking it was all just a really bad fucked up dream… then I remember… why does it hurt so much?"

"That's what love feels like…" Bo said softly, "we'll get her back Tamsin, we'll bring her home…"

"You can't just walk into Valhalla and take a soul," Tamsin said, "it doesn't work that way…"

"So explain to me how it works." Bo said.

Tamsin wiped her tears, pulled away from Bo and stood up.

"She's gone Bo," Tamsin said, "there's no way to get her back, she's dead and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to change that."

"You can…" Bo said, "We can…"

Tamsin shook her head a little.

"No…" she said, "we can't… we've got to let her go and move on."

"Because that's working so well for you," Bo said, finally snapping, "you're hiding at the bottom of a vodka bottle Tamsin, you're not moving on, you're not letting her go."

"She's all I had." Tamsin said.

"You still have me." Bo said, "I need you Tamsin."

"I never had you in the first place Bo…" Tamsin replied, "You have Lauren and Dyson, you don't need me, you never did."

x-x

Bo was still sitting on Tamsin's bed, long after the Valkyrie had stormed out. Perhaps she had been too harsh with her. She needed Tamsin to not give up, but when Tamsin didn't fight back Bo realised that Tamsin had already given up.

x-x

Tamsin was sitting at the bar at the Dal. It didn't matter how much she drank the pain still didn't go away. Kenzi had raised her, she had given her the family she never had. She may have been Bo's heart, but to Tamsin she was everything. She was the person Tamsin could turn to when she needed to vent, when she needed to get something off her chest, she was always there if Tamsin needed her. Now Tamsin needed her more than ever and she wasn't there. Everyone had someone. Bo had both Lauren and Dyson, Tamsin had never felt more alone in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: So Showcase just announced what we've known for a while (thanks to Anna) Lost Girl is back for a fifth Season, but Ksenia Solo isn't on the returning cast list. My initial reaction was WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS, then I thought about it. I think she will be back, but it's supposed to be a surprise, or at least I hope so. Lost Girl without Kenzi is like cookies without milk. Anyway, on we go. Thanks for the reviews so far, seems that most of you are liking it. Read, review and enjoy!_**

Chapter Two

Bo watched as Tamsin staggered towards the exit of the Dal, Lauren noticed the look of concern on the Succubus's face and looked over to see what Bo was looking at.

"She'll be fine Bo." Lauren said.

"There is nothing about the way Tamsin is right now that's fine," Bo said, "she came by the Clubhouse earlier… she's a mess Lauren."

"Kenzi's death has been hard on everyone," Lauren said, "she'll deal with it when she's ready."

"She'll never be ready." Bo replied, standing up, "I'm going to make sure she gets to Dyson's okay… I'll see you later?"

"Sure…" Lauren said with a little smile.

Bo followed Tamsin outside, the Valkyrie was leaning up against the wall, obviously not able to walk much further.

"Need a lift Valkyrie?" Bo asked.

"In that death trap you call a car?" Tamsin asked in reply, "No thanks Succubus, I'll walk."

"Want some company?" Bo asked.

"I'm not going your way…" Tamsin said, pushing herself away from the wall.

"I need to talk to Dyson," Bo said, "so I might as well come back with you."

"Wolf-man is working late tonight," Tamsin said, "some big case or something, so you'll probably have more luck finding him at the station."

"I'm walking you home Tamsin." Bo said, "You're a little… drunk."

"When am I not a little drunk?" Tamsin said, "I don't need you to walk me home Succubus, I'm a big girl."

"I don't care what you need," Bo said, "I'm walking you home."

"Fine," Tamsin replied, "whatever… I'm not exactly the best company right now."

"When are you ever?" Bo asked with a small smile on her face.

Tamsin tried to look offended, but failed.

"Fair point." She said.

Tamsin and Bo started the walk to Dyson's apartment, in silence. Tamsin didn't mind the silence, but Bo found it very uncomfortable. What bothered her even more was that she couldn't think of anything to talk about.

"Accept the silence Succubus…" Tamsin said.

Bo didn't say anything, she just looked at Tamsin whose attention was firmly trained on the floor in front of her. She hadn't even looked at Bo, but she knew what she was thinking.

"We are going to need to talk about the… other stuff though…" Bo said.

"Other stuff?" Tamsin asked.

"Kenzi…" Bo said.

She noticed Tamsin clench her jaw. The mention of the humans name brought out her defensive side.

"She's gone…" Tamsin said.

"We can get her back Tamsin," Bo said, "I know we can. Trick has seen writings about souls being rescued from Valhalla so I know it's possible. Why are you so set against it?"

"Because to get her back I'd have to lose you." Tamsin said, stopping and looking at Bo, "you can only take a soul from Valhalla if someone else replaces them… to get her back, you'll have to give your life…"

"Trick didn't mention anything about that," Bo said, "he just said it wasn't going to be easy…"

"For you it would be impossible," Tamsin said, "the prophecy clearly said that the Warrior or the Queen would die… you or her. The stupid human made the choice. Accept it. To get her soul back, I would need to take yours… the prophecy has to remain fulfilled. That's why it can't be done."

"Say her name…" Bo said.

"What?" Tamsin asked.

"Her name, say it." Bo replied.

Tamsin rolled her eyes and turned to walk away. Bo grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Say her name Tamsin." Bo said.

Tamsin didn't say anything.

"You talk about her, but you never say her name," Bo said, "why?"

"Fuck you Bo!" Tamsin said, trying to pull her arm away from Bo.

"I'm not letting you walk away Tamsin." Bo said.

Tamsin's features started to darken, Bo figured this is what Dyson meant when he said not to push her too hard or she'd get a hostile reaction.

"Do not push me Succubus," Tamsin said, "I will destroy you."

"No you won't…" Bo said.

"I can and I will…" Tamsin said, "It's what I do, it's what I am, it's all I am."

"No it's not," Bo replied, "Tamsin you are so much more than that… you're part of my family."

"Without her there isn't any family…" Tamsin said, her Valkyrie side still firmly in control, "without her there is no point to any of this… she was your heart Bo, but she was my…"

Tamsin collapsed to her knees, tears freely streaming down her face.

"Kenzi was my everything…" she said quietly.

"Then help me get her back…" Bo said, dropping to her knees next to Tamsin and pulling her into a hug.

"I can't…" Tamsin said, "If I lost you too what would I have left to live for…"

x-x

Bo was sitting on the sofa at Dyson's, with a sleeping Tamsin's head in her lap, when the wolf arrived back from his late shift.

"Bo…" he said, "I didn't expect to see you here, everything okay?"

"Tamsin had a bit of a breakdown on the way back from the Dal," Bo said, "I pushed her too hard… she's sleeping…"

Bo motioned down towards her lap.

"Figured I'd let her sleep…" she said.

"You're still alive," Dyson said, "and you can form complete thoughts, you obviously didn't push her that hard."

"That's the thing," Bo said, "she Valkyrie'd out, told me she could destroy me, but didn't even try."

"She's grieving, she's angry at the world," Dyson said, "she's conflicted. She blames herself for what happened to Kenzi, she thinks she should have kept her safe… she thinks she failed her. Did she tell you why she's so against going to Valhalla to get Kenzi?"

"Because I would have to give my life, take Kenzi's place…" Bo said, looking down at the blonde.

"She thinks I was working late tonight, but I wasn't…" Dyson said, sitting down in the chair, "I was looking for answers… There is another way…"

"How?" Bo asked.

"A Valkyrie's life will pay for the passage of any warrior…" Dyson said, "So basically…"

"Tamsin would have to give her life…" Bo said, "Does she know?"

"Would she still be here if she did…?" Dyson replied, "She can never find out Bo…"

"Agreed." Bo said, softly running her fingers through Tamsin's hair, "there has to be another way…"

"If there is we'll find it." Dyson said.

Dyson's phone started to ring, waking Tamsin.

"Got to take this…" Dyson said, looking at his phone and walking away from the two girls.

"Sorry…" Tamsin said, sitting up.

"Sorry for what?" Bo asked.

"Falling asleep on you…" Tamsin replied.

"No need to be sorry T." Bo said, smiling softly.

Dyson walked back over to them, holding out the phone to Bo.

"Lauren…" he said, "she's been trying to call you for the last two hours."

"Shit…" Bo said, she took the phone off Dyson and walked towards the kitchen talking to Lauren.

"How you doing T?" Dyson asked.

"Top of the world D…" Tamsin replied, "How was work? Any closer to cracking the case?"

"Tonight was mostly asking questions." Dyson said, he hated lying to Tamsin but it was for her own good, he didn't know if losing her to keep Bo and Kenzi was a price he could pay, he would rather have them all home.

Tamsin nodded.

"Got anything to drink around here?" Tamsin asked.

"Beer in the fridge." He replied.

"What about the whiskey in the cupboard above the sink?" Tamsin asked.

"You drank that last night Tamsin." He said.

"And the vodka under the sink?" she asked.

"You had that this morning…" he replied.

"Maybe I should just ask Trick if I can sleep at the Dal…" Tamsin said, standing up, "you need anything?"

He shook his head as Tamsin picked up her jacket and headed to the door. He was really worried about her, he knew she could handle her alcohol but it still really bothered him how much she was drinking. She was drinking more now than she ever did before her rebirth. Losing Kenzi had pretty much destroyed her, Dyson knew that having him around couldn't fix that, but he hoped it was helping her a little.

Bo finished talking to Lauren, lying to her about why she was at Dyson's. She didn't think Lauren would take too kindly to Bo telling her that she had just spent the last three hours watching Tamsin sleep. She walked back into the living room to see Dyson sitting looking at the door and Tamsin nowhere to be seen.

"Where did Tamsin go?" Bo asked.

"We're out of alcohol…" Dyson said, "so she went to get some more… I'm worried about her Bo…"

"So am I." Bo replied.

x-x

When an hour passed and Tamsin hadn't returned Bo and Dyson decided to go and look for her. Bo heading in the direction of the Clubhouse, Dyson heading to the Dal, Bo figured Dyson would probably find Tamsin before she did. She walked up to the front door of the Clubhouse to find it had been kicked open, her eyes flashed blue as she quietly walked in. She saw Tamsin sitting cross legged with an empty Vodka bottle lying next to her on the floor and an almost full bottle in her hand. She was watching videos on Kenzi's laptop. Tamsin and Kenzi had taken to making funny video's while Tamsin was growing up.

"I forgot my keys…" Tamsin said, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Huh?" Bo asked.

"The door," Tamsin said, "I forgot my keys…"

"Oh…" Bo said, "I'll have Dyson fix it later. What's that you're watching?"

"It's from when Kenzi decided it would be a good idea to take me to the zoo…" Tamsin said, "I ended up dropping ice cream on her new shoes…"

Bo laughed a little.

"I bet she didn't like that too much." Bo replied.

"She cursed at me for a full 10 minutes in Russian." Tamsin said with a laugh of her own.

"Reminds me of the time Kenzi and I first met…" Bo said.

"How did you meet?" Tamsin asked, "Kenzi never told me…"

"I was working at a bar here in the city," Bo said, "at a hotel… she came in, lifting wallets from unsuspecting clients… some asshole handed her a spiked drink and followed her to the elevator… I got on at the next floor, sucked the guy dry, and brought Kenzi back here to sleep it off…"

"And she never left…" Tamsin said with a small laugh.

"I tried to convince her that she didn't see what she thought she had, but she'd video'd it on her phone," Bo said, "she then decided that she had uses for my… talents."

"Sounds like Kenzi." Tamsin said.

x-x

After watching through the video's Tamsin closed the laptop and handed it to Bo.

"You keep it…" Bo said, "They're your memories…"

"I don't need videos to remember Bo…" Tamsin replied, "I can't think of anything else…"

"Is that why you're drinking so much?" Bo asked.

"Probably," Tamsin said, "but it doesn't matter how much I drink, I can't forget…"

"Would you want to?" Bo asked.

"I don't know…" Tamsin replied, "I don't want to forget… but I don't want this pain anymore…I feel… empty…"

"Kenzi wouldn't want you beating yourself up like this T," Bo said, "You know that…"

"I should have kept her safe," Tamsin said, "I failed her…"

"No you didn't," Bo said, "if anyone failed her it was me…"

Tamsin just looked at her, urging her to continue.

"When I got back from the Death Train things were different…" Bo said, "we kind of drifted apart… she had you and Hale… I was too busy with Rainer and everything… I cut her out… she was my best friend and I spent hardly any time with her in the last few months… we barely spoke… I was too busy…"

Tamsin didn't say anything.

"I would give anything to have her back… just to talk to her…" Bo said, "to hear her laughing or talking about that new pair of shoes she wanted…swearing at the TV as she kills zombies… watching that nature program she loved so much in her skull pj's eating cereal out of the box…"

Tamsin smiled a little.

"It's the little things…" Bo said, "this place is empty, it doesn't feel like home anymore… without her…"

The tears started to fall.

"I can't do this without her Tamsin," Bo said, "I don't know who I am without her…"

Tamsin watched as the floodgates opened, Bo had tried to put on a brave face, pretending everything was okay, but Tamsin knew better. Bo needed to grieve, she needed to let go. Tamsin knew none of them would forget, she knew none of them would ever really move on without the little human, but she also knew that Kenzi would kill her if she allowed Bo to take her place. Tamsin put her arms around Bo and pulled her into a hug. At that moment Dyson ran in.

"What happened to the…" he started saying, seeing Tamsin and Bo he stopped himself.

Tamsin looked at him, tears building in her eyes, pain written across her face. Dyson nodded a little, he knew that look, he slowly walked back outside leaving the two girls alone.

"Let it out Succubus…" Tamsin said quietly.

x-x

Dyson knew that Bo had yet to properly break down, he knew that she was stuck in the denial part of the grieving process. They were all at different stages, he accepted it to an extent but had decided to use work as a distraction from it, Tamsin was still in the angry stage, Lauren had her professional head on whenever someone mentioned Kenzi. Lauren had mentioned to Dyson many times that she was worried about Bo, they both knew that Bo would do anything to get Kenzi back, but they also both knew that she needed to accept that the small human was gone. Dyson wasn't even a little surprised that it was Tamsin who Bo broke down in front of. They had always had an odd relationship, going from hating each other to Tamsin driving her truck off a cliff, killing herself, to try and save Bo. As much as everyone had been affected by Kenzi's death, he knew that Tamsin and Bo would be feeling it the most and he knew the only way either of them were going to get through this was together, they needed each other, probably more than they knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Onwards we go, special 'appearance' from everyone's favourite little goth in this part. Drop me a review, let me know what you think. Read, review and enjoy!_**

Chapter Three

Bo hadn't wanted to be alone that night, she didn't want Dyson or Lauren, she wanted Tamsin. She needed Tamsin. As much as Lauren and Dyson had tried to comfort Bo since Kenzi died, they didn't quite get it, Tamsin got it. Tamsin had been the first person that Bo had actually broken down in front of, the others had seen her crying, but not like she had with the Valkyrie. One minute she was holding it together, then next she was in pieces. Instead of Tamsin just sitting there, keeping her distance, she had pulled Bo into a hug. The Succubus had forgotten how safe she felt in Tamsin's arms, it was like nothing in the world could harm her.

That night, as Bo slept next to her, Tamsin dreamt.

_At first she didn't know where she was, it took her a while to see the shields and other weaponry that made up the walls of the hall she was in. It had been a while since Tamsin had set foot in the Great Halls of Valhalla. As she stood there looking around her, trying to figure out why she was there now of all times, she heard a voice behind her._

_"Hey Lil T…" the voice said._

_"Kenzi…" Tamsin said, turning to face the girl she had missed so much._

_Kenzi just smiled at her a little._

_"How you doing?" she asked._

_"Not too good…" Tamsin replied honestly._

_"It wasn't your fault Tamsin." Kenzi said._

_"Yes it…" Tamsin started to say._

_"No it wasn't," Kenzi said, interrupting her, "it was my choice to make. You have all done so much for me, saved my ass more times than I can remember, it was my turn… You guys were my life… it was my choice to give my life to save yours, and everyone else's…"_

_"Bo has this mad crazy idea of coming here to rescue you…" Tamsin said, looking at the floor._

_"You can't let her," Kenzi said, "and you need to get her to stop looking for ways to do it. I don't need rescuing T…"_

_"Figured," Tamsin said, "there's none-stop alcohol flowing in this place."_

_Kenzi laughed a little as Tamsin smiled at her._

_"There isn't any other way anyway," Tamsin said, "you think I didn't look…"_

_"Just get her to stop." Kenzi said._

_"There isn't another way, is there?" Tamsin asked._

_"I don't need rescuing Tamsin…" Kenzi repeated._

_"Kenzi, is there another way?" Tamsin asked._

_Kenzi just smiled a little._

_"Let me go Tamsin." Kenzi said._

_Tamsin started to wake up._

_"I'll find out what it is…" Tamsin said._

_"Let me go," Kenzi repeated, "live your life, that's what I want you to do, please, just live…"_

Tamsin sat bolt upright in bed, it took a few seconds to remember where she was, and who's bed she was in.

"You okay?" Bo asked, sitting up next to her.

"Yeah…" Tamsin said, "Weird dream…"

"About Kenzi…?" Bo asked.

"Yeah…" Tamsin replied, lying back down, looking up at the top of Bo's bed, crossing her arms across her stomach.

"I haven't dreamt about her yet…" Bo said.

"That was the first time…" Tamsin said, "But I don't think it was a dream…"

"What do you mean?" Bo asked.

"I was in Valhalla…" Tamsin said, "Valkyrie's can be called there when they are asleep… it's rare but it happens…"

"So you actually saw Kenzi." Bo said.

"She wants you to stop looking for ways to rescue her," Tamsin said, "apparently she doesn't need rescuing… what she said also made me think there is another way to get her back, so I don't have to lose you too… I'm going to talk to Trick about it later…"

"There isn't another way T," Bo said, "you said it yourself, the prophecy must remain fulfilled, which means I'd be the only life to trade…"

"There has to be another way…" Tamsin said, still looking at the top of the bed.

Bo didn't say anything else, she simply lay there watching as the moonlight danced across the features on Tamsin's face as the Valkyrie was in full thought about another way to get Kenzi back from Valhalla. Bo knew she shouldn't keep it from her, knowing that one way or another Tamsin would find out what it was, but she couldn't tell her. She knew the moment she told Tamsin that she could get Kenzi back by giving her own life as a trade, Tamsin would be gone.

Tamsin suddenly got out of bed.

"Where are you going Tamsin?" Bo asked as the Valkyrie threw on her jeans.

"I need to talk to Acacia…" Tamsin said, "I have an idea, but I don't know if it'll work."

"And you think Acacia is going to tell you after what happened the last time you saw her?" Bo asked.

"She calls me out on my shit all the time," Tamsin said, "I was just returning the favour…"

"Its 5am Tamsin," Bo said, "she'll probably be asleep anyway."

"She's on the other side of the country," Tamsin said, "she'll be awake… I'm not going to see her, I'm just going to call her."

"And you needed to get dressed to do that?" Bo asked with a little smile.

"Dude, it's 5am, it's cold, and D-man is asleep on the sofa," Tamsin said with a smile of her own, "he's good but I don't want to give him the wrong idea, if you know what I mean."

Bo laughed a little.

"Good point." Bo replied.

"Plus, who could resist this, right?" Tamsin asked with a smirk.

"I thought you were going to get your phone." Bo replied, still smiling.

Tamsin laughed as she walked down the stairs to get her phone.

x-x

Tamsin paced back and forth in the kitchen area of the Clubhouse as she waited for Acacia to answer the phone.

"Come on you old bitch," Tamsin said quietly, "answer the phone…"

"What do you want Tamsin?" Acacia asked as she answered the phone.

"Am I right in thinking that a Valkyrie can give her life to retrieve a soul from Valhalla?" Tamsin asked, getting straight to the point.

"You call me up to ask me if you kill yourself will it bring Kenzi back." Acacia asked, "Don't be a fucking idiot Tamsin."

"When I was young, I remember you telling me about a Valkyrie who was made human in exchange for getting her lovers soul back after she took him to Valhalla," Tamsin said, "and the other story about a Valkyrie on her last life who gave her life to retrieve the soul of her lover… it's possible, right?"

"Tamsin," Acacia said, "those Valkyrie's had bonded with their lovers, I know you and the human were close, but you weren't that close… just let her go kid."

"Why does everyone keep telling me to let her go," Tamsin said, "she told me, now you're telling me…"

"She told you?" Acacia asked.

"In my dream," Tamsin said, "she called me to Valhalla… or someone did… she told me to get Bo to stop trying to find a way to rescue her and she also told me to let her go…"

"So do what she wants," Acacia said, "and stop this suicidal quest to make yourself feel better. You're going soft Tamsin, love will get you killed."

"Yeah…" Tamsin replied.

"Is that it?" Acacia asked.

"Yeah." Tamsin said, "That's it…"

Tamsin hung up the phone, she made her way back upstairs without realising that Dyson was lying awake on the sofa, having heard the whole conversation Tamsin had just had with Acacia. He needed to get the idea out of Tamsin's head, he wasn't going to let her kill herself. Kenzi wouldn't want that, she'd want Tamsin to move on and find happiness.

x-x

When Bo woke the following morning the sun was streaming through the windows, she realised pretty quickly that she was alone in the bed, she looked over at the side that Tamsin had slept on and she saw a note on the table.

_Gone to see Trick, I have a few questions that he'll have the answers to, be back later Succubus. T_

Bo quickly got out of bed, got dressed then went downstairs to see if Dyson was still there. He was.

"Where's Tamsin?" Bo asked.

"I thought she was upstairs with you." Dyson said.

"No," Bo said, "she left a note saying she was going to see Trick…"

"She knows…" Dyson said, "I heard her on the phone to Acacia last night, asking her about a Valkyrie giving up her life to retrieve a soul."

"We need to get to the Dal." Bo said.

The pair headed for the door, Dyson grabbing his jacket on the way out, when they got outside they saw that the tires had been slashed on Dyson's car. If they were going to get to the Dal they were going to have to walk.

x-x

"Does Bo know you're here?" Trick asked as he poured Tamsin a drink.

"Nope," Tamsin replied, "well she will do if she's awake…"

"And Dyson?" Trick asked.

"If Bo knows, he'll know," Tamsin said, "he crashed at the Clubhouse last night."

"So we're probably going to be interrupted." Trick said.

"Not any time soon," Tamsin said, "they have no transport."

"What is it that you want to know Tamsin?" Trick asked.

"When I was younger I heard stories about Valkyrie's retrieving souls from Valhalla," Tamsin said, "taking them back… it's happened twice that I know of… one Valkyrie choosing to become human, the other giving her life… is it possible?"

"I don't know," Trick said, "I'm not an expert on Valkyrie's, have you asked…"

"Acacia?" Tamsin asked, interrupting him, "yeah, she thinks I'm being an idiot."

Trick just smiled a little.

"And you agree with her…" Tamsin said.

"Kenzi made her choice Tamsin," Trick said, "she gave her life so we could all live, it was her choice to make."

"Trick, I've lived a heck of a lot longer than I ever should have," Tamsin said, "you know that better than anyone… she was just really starting her life…"

"Tamsin, you're still pretty early on in this life," Trick said, "you have a long way to go, and a lot more to do before the gates of Valhalla open for you."

"I've had my life Trick," Tamsin said, "I've been everywhere, seen everything…When I agreed that you could take Rainer's soul, it was so I could, selfishly, try to make things right… maybe this is how I can finally redeem myself…"

"I can look into it for you." Trick said.

"Thank you." Tamsin replied, "And this stays between us?"

"You have my word." Trick said.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Bit of a long emotional chapter, but I hope it reads okay. Read, review and enjoy!_**

Chapter Four

Tamsin couldn't help but feel a lot calmer after talking to Trick, she was pretty sure that Dyson was going to be pissed that she slashed his tires, but she figured he'd understand eventually. If it was a choice between losing Bo and giving her own life to get Kenzi home, then she knew without question that she'd give her own life. Kenzi had raised her after all, she had literally made Tamsin see what it meant to have a 'normal' childhood, and Tamsin had never had that. She owed everything to the little human, and giving her life seemed like a small price to pay. She hadn't been lying when she told Bo that Kenzi was her everything. She didn't want to live in a world without her. But she also didn't want to deprive the world of her spirit, she was one of a kind, with a long life ahead of her and Tamsin was determined to make sure she got the chance to live it.

Trick was looking through his books when Dyson and Bo arrived.

"Where's Tamsin?" Bo asked as they walked in.

"Well it's nice to see you too." Trick replied.

"Sorry," Bo said, "Hi... Where's Tamsin?"

"She's downstairs," Trick said, "doing a little research."

"She's trying to find out about a Valkyrie giving her life to retrieve a soul from Valhalla..." Dyson said, "She's willing to kill herself to get Kenzi back."

Trick didn't say a word.

"But you knew that already," Bo said, "because she already asked you about it..."

"If a Valkyries sacrifice is for selfless reasons there is a chance that they may get to live their life over." Lauren said walking into the Dal.

"I'm going to need more than a _chance_ and a _may_ Lauren…" Bo said, "I can't lose them both… There is no way I'm going to let Tamsin do this, even if there's a guarantee that she'll be back with us afterwards…"

"It's not your choice to make Succubus." Tamsin said, walking up the stairs, carrying one of Trick's old books, "the dust on this one nearly made me cough up a lung, you really should hire yourself a brownie or something Trick…"

The Blood King smiled at her as she walked over to the bar and sat down, he poured her a drink as she opened the book.

"Tamsin, you can't be serious about this." Bo said.

"Why not?" Tamsin asked, looking up from the book, "because you're the only one who gets to run around here playing fucking hero?"

"Tamsin…" Dyson said.

"Sorry…" Tamsin said, rolling her eyes.

"You can't expect us to go along with this T," Bo said, "you're part of this family too, and I can't lose you…"

"Just think what you'll get back in return," Tamsin said with a little smile, "you get your heart back… Dyson you get your friend back… Lauren, you get the other human back, and hopefully you two will be able to see past all your shit and realise you actually have a lot in common…I've lived many, many lifetimes, more than I should have… you guys gave me something I've never had before, in any of those lifetimes… you're my friends…"

She looked at Lauren and smiled a little, Lauren returned the smile.

"My family…" Tamsin continued, looking at Bo and Dyson, and then at Trick "and my King… I know I'm only a matter of months into this life, and I know that my last life was something I've actually kind of looked forward to, it's supposed to be amazing… and it has been… thanks to all of you… This is my choice to make, so please, let me make it…"

She walked up to Dyson.

"D-Man," she said, "you're the best partner a girl could ever ask for… and I love you…"

Dyson smiled a little, feeling the tears burning his eyes.

"Bo…" Tamsin said, turning to face the brunette, "the infamous, previously, unaligned Succubus…"

Bo couldn't help but smile a little.

"I told you this once before," the blonde said, "but I'm going to say it again… you're not like anyone I've ever met, in any of my many lifetimes… you have changed my life in more ways than you will ever know, and I will be eternally grateful to have had you in my life… I've lived my life, and this has been the perfect end to my adventure, just let me give Kenzi the chance to actually start her story… I'm going down in history, the most revered Valkyrie ever known…"

"The most modest too…" Dyson mumbled, causing everyone to laugh.

"I want the world to read the Kenzi story…" Tamsin said, "Because we all know that bitch is fabulous…"

Bo smiled a little at Tamsin.

"And I guess there's nothing I can do to talk you out of this…" Bo said.

"We don't even know if this can be done," Tamsin said, "but I want… no I_ need_ to find out… and I don't need you and Dyson fighting me on this… I need you with me… both of you…"

Dyson nodded.

"Can I take a rain check on making that decision…?" Bo asked, looking into Tamsin's ice green eyes.

The Valkyrie smiled a little.

"Sure…" she said, "if that's what you need…"

Tamsin returned to the bar, picked up the book then looked at Trick.

"Can I take the bottle downstairs," she said, "think I'm in for a pretty long day reading through the mountains of shit you've accumulated over the years?"

"Of course." Trick said.

Tamsin took the bottle of vodka and headed back downstairs.

"She's really serious about this…" Bo said, sitting down.

"We may find at the end of all this that it can't be done," Lauren said, sitting down next to Bo, "look at it this way, if it can't be done, it's giving her something to focus herself on instead of getting ragingly drunk…"

"And if it can be done…?" Bo asked.

"Then it gives us time to talk her out of it." Lauren replied.

"I'd say that's going to be pretty much impossible," Trick said, "I've known Tamsin a heck of a lot longer than any of you, I know her reputation and what she's capable of… if she sets her mind to doing something, there's no one on this earth that can talk her out of it."

"Except maybe the Succubus." Acacia said, walking into the Dal.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bo asked, standing up.

"Chill your pants bitch," Acacia replied, "I'm here to help you."

"Like you did last time…" Dyson said.

"I seem to remember helping you a lot," Acacia said, looking at Dyson, "or did you not like your late night booty call with the Valkyrie."

Dyson didn't say anything.

"Oh don't tell me the bitch chickened out." Acacia said, smirking.

"What's she talking about Dyson?" Bo asked.

"Nothing…" Dyson replied.

"You slept with Tamsin?" Bo asked, feeling herself getting angry.

"No…" Dyson said, "Well, kind of… yeah…"

Bo's eyes shone the brightest blue that anyone had ever seen; her skin began to glow, rippling with power.

"Oh shit…" Dyson said.

"Well that isn't the reaction I was expecting…" Acacia said, not able to take her eyes off Bo.

x-x

While she was sitting downstairs, her legs pulled up underneath her, vodka in one hand and the book in the other, Tamsin heard some sort of commotion upstairs.

"Calm down Bo!" Dyson shouted, "It really wasn't like that… we were both hurting!"

"So you figured you'd take advantage?" Bo asked, "You used her to make yourself feel better after I told you I could never love you?"

"Oh shit…" Tamsin said, dropping the book and the glass before running upstairs.

The power that she felt as she entered the bar nearly knocked her off her feet.

"Bo…" Lauren said, placing her hand on Bo's arm, "look at me…"

"Stay out of this." Bo said, forcing Lauren's hand away, "explain it to me Dyson, and make me understand…"

"Hey, Succubus," Tamsin said, walking up to Bo, "do you want to chill it out a bit…"

Bo turned to look at Tamsin, her blue eyes meeting Tamsin's green ones. The Valkyrie had never seen Bo like this. She figured this was something similar to what had happened when Bo lost control when they were investigating the Sex Mansion and the Sea Cow.

"There's really no point in getting mad at the wolf," Tamsin said, "I initiated it… not him…"

"Why?" Bo asked.

Tamsin laughed a little.

"I was hurting…" Tamsin said, "I wanted to feel something… anything… and it hurt me to see him hurting…"

Tamsin looked over at Dyson and smiled a little, the wolf returned the smile. Bo seemed to calm down a little, her eyes still shone blue, but the electricity in the air had started to ease.

"I wanted Dyson to remember there was more out there," Tamsin said, "no point both of us fucked up over… anyway, if you want to take this out on anyone, take it out on me. Believe it or not, Wolf-junk is actually the innocent party in all this… it meant nothing, to either of us; it was a night of meaningless physical contact… in the keg room, sorry Trick…"

Trick cringed a little. Bo completely calmed down, her eyes eased back into their warm brown.

"Better…?" Tamsin asked quietly looking deep into Bo's eyes.

Bo nodded slightly.

"We need to talk." Acacia said, looking at Tamsin.

Tamsin looked at her mentor and nodded, and then she looked back at Bo.

"Try not to kill him while I'm gone," Tamsin said, "I've grown attached to the overgrown fur ball…"

x-x

Tamsin and Acacia went outside to talk, leaving Bo, Dyson, Trick and Lauren wondering what the hell had just happened. Bo had gone all crazy-ass Succubus and it hadn't been Lauren that calmed her down, it was Tamsin.

"What are we going to do…?" Bo asked, looking around at the worried faces looking back at her.

"Make her remember what she has to live for." Lauren said.

"Will that work?" Bo asked.

"Maybe," Trick replied, "we can only try."

x-x

"So you're really going to try it?" Acacia asked, "Give it all up for a human?"

"Yeah…" Tamsin said, "She deserves to be here so much more than I do…"

"When are you going to stop beating yourself up over your past Tamsin," Acacia said, "you're a Valkyrie, shit happens, suck it up and let it go."

"They need her Acacia." Tamsin replied, "Bo needs her…"

"You died for her once Tams," Acacia said, "and now you're going to end your life, your last life, because she needs Kenzi… do you have any idea how fucked up that is?"

"It's my life…" Tamsin said.

"Your last life," Acacia said, "you finally reach your full potential, your full strength… The life you've lead Tamsin doesn't lend to a pathetic out. You should be going out in a blaze of swords and bloodshed, not a suicide mission to rescue a human… your reputation will be destroyed."

"I don't care." Tamsin said, "You once told me love would me killed, I guess in a way you were right."

"Out of your love for who are you doing this Tamsin?" Acacia asked, "The human or the Succubus?"

"I don't have to stand around and listen to this." Tamsin said with a little laugh, turning back to walk towards the Dal.

"Does she know?" Acacia asked.

"There's nothing to know…" Tamsin said, "She chose Lauren…"

"How did you expect her to choose differently if your name was never in the hat Tamsin…?" Acacia replied.

"She's had enough disappointment in her life," Tamsin said, "people turning out to be the exact opposite of what they claim… Hell, her girlfriend turned Evony human, came up with some disease thing that can turn all Fae human, telling Bo that everything she did was for her… yet Bo went back to her, that's how desperate she is for a normal life… I can't offer her that."

"No," Acacia said, "you can't, you and normal never did mix well…"

Tamsin smiled a little and walked a little closer to the Dal before Acacia continued.

"You can't offer her normal, you certainly can't do ordinary, you attract trouble everywhere you go and you are a monumental pain in the ass," Acacia said, as Tamsin stopped walking again, "what you can offer her is so much more than that. You can offer her the world Tamsin, an extraordinary life, a protector, a lover. Valkyrie's fall in love once in their life and that love is prophesised through the years, she's your wings Valkyrie…"

"I already have my wings," Tamsin said, "and they hurt like hell…"

"And how much does it hurt you to see her with someone else?" Acacia asked.

"I've had a lot of practice…" Tamsin replied.

"You are putting yourself through emotional hell watching her with someone else Tams," Acacia said, "I may not have ever done the love thing, but I know those who have, and I've heard stories about how much it hurts watching the one your Valkyrie has chosen be with someone else. It's killing you Tamsin."

"Like I said," Tamsin said, "it's my life…"

Tamsin walked away from her mentor and into the Dal.

"So you're going to kill yourself before you die of a broken heart," Acacia said quietly as she saw the door close behind Tamsin, "you really are an idiot, a stubborn, noble, stupid idiot."


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: A slightly lighter part to lift the angst a little. Read, review and enjoy!_**

Chapter Five

They were all sitting around a table at the Dal; the place was open, but quiet. Things had been pretty quiet around there since the battle. The alcohol was flowing, and everyone was laughing.

"There was this one time," Bo said, smiling, "we were on this building site, and the Morrigan had sent Bruce after me…"

"Was this when you had the photo on your phone of her cuffed to the bed?" Tamsin asked.

"Yeah." Bo said with a laugh.

"Wish I could have seen that." Tamsin replied with a laugh of her own.

"It was so very funny," Bo said, "so Bruce is trying to grab hold of me, to take me to Evony, Kenzi comes running up behind him, falls on her ass… she slides in the mud, right between his legs, and punches him in the family jewels. Then she got up as if she had totally meant to do it."

"I've now got this image in my head of Kenzi covered in mud acting like an asshat." Tamsin said, laughing so much that tears started to build in her eyes, but these were good tears.

Acacia had sat listening to everyone share their Kenzi memories without saying a word. That was all about to change.

"Succubus," she said, "can I have a word?"

"Sure." Bo said, with a slight smile, she stood up.

"Don't you dare Acacia…" Tamsin said.

"I just want a little chat with Bo," Acacia said, "that's all."

Tamsin watched as Acacia and Bo left the Dal, she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"What did you mean don't you dare?" Lauren asked.

"Doesn't matter," Tamsin said, pushing her chair away from the table and standing up, "Acacia knows what I meant…"

x-x

"So…" Bo said as she and Acacia stood outside the Dal, "what's this about?"

"You have to talk Tamsin out of her mad idea." Acacia said.

"She's made it pretty clear that she can't be talked out of it," Bo said, "and Trick said…"

"I know Tamsin better than the Blood King does," Acacia said, "trust me when I'm saying you're making a massive mistake if you let her do this."

"Why me?" Bo asked.

"Because she'll listen to you." Acacia said, "You mean a lot to her Bo."

"Kenzi meant more." Bo said with a little smile.

"In a different way…" Acacia replied.

"What do you mean?" Bo asked.

"You really are bad at reading people…" Acacia said, "Let me ask you something, when did Tamsin get her wings?"

"The day that Massimo took her from the Clubhouse," Bo said, "he wanted to get some of her hair for Evony… I went there to stop him… he put a knife to my throat and…"

"Tamsin lost it." Acacia replied.

"Yes, Massimo said that she's in her last life, that's why she has the wings." Bo said.

"That's part of it," Acacia said, "most Valkyrie's get their wings in their last life, but for Tamsin to have them already, being only a few months into this life, means something big has to have happened. You're the reason she's got her wings Bo."

"She was trying to protect me." Bo said, "She'd have done that for anyone."

"Maybe, maybe not," Acacia said, "think about it Succubus, how many times has Tamsin put herself in the line of fire for you?"

"She took a bullet for me at Taft… she took out Taft's guards, knowing it would leave her in a weakened state," Bo said, "she drove her truck off a cliff, killing herself, to try and take out my father… She nearly got made into Krampus candy…"

"Are you starting to see a pattern here?" Acacia asked, "A Valkyrie is a warrior Bo, they are protective and loyal, but our main concern is survival. We will do what we can to make sure someone is okay, but we will not put our lives on the line, unless ordered, our need for self-preservation overrides every other thought…"

"So it was completely out of character for Tamsin to do those things?" Bo asked.

"Hell yes," Acacia said, "she is one of the most feared Valkyrie's that ever lived, if she was on your side in a battle you knew you were going to win. She's a survivor Bo, a fighter. But there's only one thing she fights for now…"

"And what's that?" Bo asked.

"You." Acacia replied.

x-x

"What do you think they're talking about?" Tamsin asked Dyson as she sat at the bar looking at the door.

"I don't know." Dyson said, "But don't worry about, I'm sure if Bo needs us she'll scream."

Tamsin couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

"What happened earlier?" Tamsin asked.

"Earlier?" Dyson asked in reply.

"When Bo went all crazy ass Succubus in your face…" Tamsin said.

"Acacia mentioned something about my late night booty call with the Valkyrie, and Bo just kinda lost it," Dyson said, "You know the rest."

"Why would it bother her who I sleep with…?" Tamsin said, more to herself than to Dyson.

"She cares about you," Dyson said, "she's protective of you, and it's understandable, what with Kenzi… not here right now."

Tamsin nodded a little.

"I'm a big girl," Tamsin said, with a smirk, "I can take care of myself."

"Don't I know it." Dyson said with a laugh.

"Trick," Tamsin said, "bottle of your finest please sir."

x-x

A few hours later Tamsin was playing a game of very drunken pool with Dyson, Bo was sitting at the bar watching the pair.

"She seems more relaxed." She said to Trick.

"I think now she's made her decision, it's all a bit easier for her." Trick said.

"What do you know about what Lauren said earlier?" Bo asked.

"When she said that if a Valkyrie's sacrifice is totally self-less then they may return?" Trick asked in reply, to which Bo nodded, "it's well documented in the archives, if a Valkyrie makes the choice of giving her life, to save another, at no benefit to herself and for no other reason than it being her choice, Freya may see fit to restore the life cycle."

"Freya?" Bo asked.

"The Queen of the Valkyries," Trick replied with a smile, remembering there was still much about their world that his granddaughter didn't know, "she is the one who has the final say."

"With how great Tamsin is, or was, or whatever," Bo said, "being one of the most feared Valkyries who ever lived… surely Freya will restore her life."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Acacia said from her seat a little further down the bar, "Tamsin may have been this amazing warrior, but she also caused a hell of a lot of trouble along the way too. When she followed her orders she usually did it in her own way, getting it done the way she wanted it done, not the way Freya would expect. She's a stubborn ass, total free spirit. Freya may actually be glad to have Tamsin under some kind of control…"

"What do you mean?" Bo asked.

"If her little trip doesn't work, if she can't bring the human back," Acacia said, "then she'll die anyway. Her soul will be going to Valhalla, where Freya can control her, make sure she doesn't run off and start causing some kind of riot or something."

"Obviously she knows this…" Bo said, "She knows that if this doesn't work out then she'll be with Kenzi anyway…"

"She thinks her soul is going to hell…" Trick said, looking over at the blonde.

"So not only does she not know whether this will actually work, she's also prepared to, in her eyes; condemn her soul to hell if it doesn't?" Acacia asked.

Trick nodded.

"That girl really has gone soft…" Acacia said, "Her soul will go to Valhalla, there's no question of that, for all the bad she thinks she's done, she's still going to be remembered as one of the greats."

Bo looked back over at the table just in time to see Tamsin beat Dyson, again.

"You cheated." Dyson said, pushing her playfully as they walked back to the bar.

"Dude," Tamsin said, "I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back _while_ standing on one leg."

"Sounds like a challenge to me." Dyson said with a laugh.

"A challenge for another night," Tamsin said, sitting down next to Bo, "how you doing Succubus? The old bitch making you want to kill her with her boring shit yet?"

Bo laughed a little.

"Not yet," Bo said with a smile, "she's actually not that bad."

"Try spending too many lifetimes with her around." Tamsin said with a laugh.

Acacia slap Tamsin round the back of the head.

"Cheeky bitch," Acacia said, "remember who you're talking to."

"I was technically talking to Bo." Tamsin said, laughing.

"What are you doing tomorrow Tamsin?" Bo asked.

"Nothing," Tamsin said, "but saying that I don't know what I'm doing in 20 minutes, so that's probably not the best question to ask me… why?"

"I was going to visit the grave," Bo said, "I was wondering if you'd come with me…"

"Ah…" Tamsin said.

"Please," Bo said, "I could do with some support…"

"So ask Lauren, or Dyson," Tamsin said, "I am not the person to ask."

"Well you are the person _I_ asked…" Bo said, "Please Tamsin, I _need_ you there."

Tamsin nodded a little. Dyson couldn't help but shake his head slightly. Bo knew Tamsin was seriously all kinds of messed up about Kenzi, Dyson knew that Tamsin only went to the grave when she felt there was no other way out, he knew that it was going to be hard for the Valkyrie, and he knew that Bo knew that. He couldn't help but think that Bo wanted to push Tamsin to Valhalla quicker. Shaking his head he got that thought out, Bo wouldn't do that, she cared about Tamsin too much, her little outburst earlier had shown him that. For a while he had thought the two of them would get together, they had fought all the time, flirted all the time, and the sexual tension around them sometimes cranked to 11. He knew that Tamsin had feelings for Bo, deep feelings; he also knew that she would never explore them unless she thought it would be beneficial to Bo.

"Trick…" Dyson said, "Can I have a word?"

"Sure," Trick said, "let me just serve these guys and I'll be over."

Dyson waited as the Blood King served the drinks, and then he and Trick moved down to the opposite end of the bar.

"What's on your mind?" Trick asked.

"Tamsin…" Dyson said, "Well more specifically what happens when a Valkyrie doesn't express her love for someone?"

"If its true love," Trick replied, "if it's the warrior her Valkyrie has chosen… it depends, nothing at all in some cases."

"And in others?" Dyson asked.

"I've read things about Valkyries literally dying from a broken heart, from having to watch the person their Valkyrie has chosen be with someone else." Trick said, "Why do you ask?"

"I think Tamsin loves Bo." Dyson said.

"Of course she does, it doesn't take a genius to work that one out Dyson." Trick said.

"No, I mean really loves Bo," Dyson replied, looking at the two girls, "remember all the crazy shit Tamsin has pulled for her, mind-fucking me to help her find Kenzi, going against a specific order from the Morrigan to save Bo, killing herself…"

Trick's eyes widened slightly as he started to consider what Dyson was saying.

"You think Bo could be the warrior her Valkyrie has chosen?" Trick asked.

"I think so…" Dyson replied.

"Then Tamsin is a lot stronger than even I imagined." Trick said, looking over at the blonde.

x-x

The following morning Tamsin was in Bo's car as the Succubus drove them out to the graveyard. It was a nice day so the roof was down, causing the wind to blow both girls' hair back.

"You need a new car Succubus." Tamsin said.

"What's wrong with my car?" Bo asked.

"It's a hunk of junk and it'll get you killed one day." Tamsin replied.

"At least I haven't driven it off a cliff yet…" Bo said.

"You couldn't even get this to the edge of a cliff; it'd fall apart before it hit the bottom." Tamsin said with a smirk.

"You can always get out and walk." Bo said.

"I'm not the one who wanted to come here today, remember." Tamsin said.

Bo nodded a little.

"Why me Bo?" Tamsin asked, "why not Dyson or Lauren?"

"As much as they try to comfort me, make me feel better, they don't." Bo said, "For some reason being around them makes it worse… I feel like I should be strong for them, so when I do break down I try and hide it…"

"You shouldn't have to hide it…" Tamsin said.

"I know…" Bo replied, "The reason I asked you to come, and not them, is because I don't have to hide it around you, I don't have to pretend to be strong… I feel calm around you, peaceful even… You ground me Tamsin and stop my emotions running out of control… yesterday at the Dal proved that. That's why I need you Tamsin. You're my rock, my anchor, you stop me flying off."

"You're just going through some pretty emotional shit right now Bo," Tamsin said, "I understand, and I also know it'll get easier. It won't go away completely, but in time it will get easier. I can try and support you for now, but you won't need me for long. But while you need me, I'm here."

"I'll always need you." Bo said, looking over at the blonde, "every time something has gone wrong, you've been there. You took a bullet for me, you died for me…everything you did for me, you did without expecting anything in return…you're the most self-less person I've met."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Tamsin said with a laugh, "you should ask Acacia about how self-ish I can be."

"I already know," Bo said, "and I know that a Valkyrie's first thought is always self-preservation… I can pass the driving off a cliff thing off as you coming to the end of your life, so why not go out with a bang… then you get reborn, knowing it's your last life, yet you're still putting yourself in danger, for me. With Kenzi gone there's nothing keeping you here, you could've run…"

"No I couldn't," Tamsin replied, keeping eye contact with Bo, "because there is something keeping me here…"

"What?" Bo said, "What's so important to you that you're risking your life every day to stay here?"

"You…" Tamsin said.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Drop me a review; I'd love to know what you all think of this part. Read, review and enjoy!_**

Chapter Six

The drive continued in silence. Both girls sitting there thinking about what had just come out of Tamsin's mouth.

"Stop the car Bo…" Tamsin said.

"Tamsin, we're nearly there, stopping now would be…" Bo started to say.

"Stop the car." Tamsin said, interrupting her.

Bo didn't say anything, nor did she stop the car.

"Stop the goddamn car Succubus," Tamsin said, "I want out."

"We need to talk about this Tamsin." Bo said.

"No we don't." Tamsin replied.

The next thing Bo knows Tamsin is no longer sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Bo stops the car and looks back in the direction they had just driven from. A little further back she can see Tamsin standing in the middle of the road, wings on show.

"Stubborn Valkyrie." Bo said, as she watched Tamsin disappear into the sky.

x-x

After leaving Bo in the car Tamsin had freaked out, she had told Bo a little more than she intended to.

"Great going asshat," she said to herself as she landed on the roof of Dyson's apartment building, "now she's going to think that you agreed to support her cause you've got some fucked up crush."

She kicked the trash can that was up on the roof, she and Dyson had put it there to build fires in when they sat out drinking and chatting some nights. Upon hearing the noise Dyson walked out onto the roof.

"What the hell Tamsin." He said, "If that'd gone over the edge you could've killed someone."

Tamsin didn't say anything, she just shrugged and sat down on the ledge, with her legs hanging over and her wings still out, like she was going to fly off at any moment.

"What happened?" he asked, walking over to her, "I thought you were going with Bo."

"I did," Tamsin said, "then she asked me what was keeping me here… she said about a Valkyrie's first thought being self-preservation, then basically said I'm risking my life every day here, and with Kenzi gone there's nothing keeping me here…"

"What did you say to her?" Dyson asked.

"Only that there was something keeping me here," Tamsin said, "and it's her keeping me here…"

"You told her that?" Dyson asked.

"Yeah, and now she's going to think I'm a complete tool." Tamsin replied.

"Are you in love with her Tamsin?" Dyson asked.

"What?" Tamsin asked in reply, "no, don't be stupid."

"Come on T," Dyson said with a slight smile, "this is me you're talking to."

"Okay, yeah, maybe, a little bit…" Tamsin said, rolling her eyes.

"Have you felt that way about her for long?" Dyson asked.

"A while…" Tamsin said.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Dyson asked.

"And add my name to the already screwed up love life of Bo Dennis?" Tamsin asked, "She's got you, she's got Lauren…"

"She's got you…" Dyson replied.

"Yeah, well she's got you two in a completely different way," Tamsin said, "Can we change the subject?"

"I thought that Valkyrie's didn't do love." Dyson said.

"No as a general rule…" Tamsin said, "We don't."

"Is that why…" Dyson started say.

"Enough of the questions Wolf-junk or I'll throw you off the roof and we'll see if wolves have wings." Tamsin said, snapping her head round and looking at Dyson.

Dyson smiled, held his hands up and backed up a little. The buzzer went.

"If that's Bo," Tamsin called after Dyson, "I'm not here."

A few minutes later Tamsin was still sitting out on the roof when the loft door opened.

"So, who was it…?" Tamsin asked, slowly turning to the door, expecting to see Dyson.

"Me…" Bo said.

"Where's Dyson?" Tamsin asked, standing up.

"He popped out," Bo said, "said something about grabbing some food and heading to the Dal."

Tamsin nodded a little.

"That asshole…" She said quietly.

"We need to talk Valkyrie." Bo said.

"No we don't." Tamsin said.

"So we just go back to pretending you didn't say what you said." Bo said, walking further out on the roof.

"I don't see why it's such a big deal." Tamsin said.

"You basically told me that the only reason you've stayed here is because of me," Bo said, "even with threats against your life, that's a pretty big deal."

"Okay, I care about you Bo," Tamsin said, "but that doesn't mean I'm professing my undying love. Your love life is complicated enough already without me throwing my hat into the ring."

"Would you want to…?" Bo asked.

Tamsin laughed, in that uncomfortable way that made Bo smile.

"What days do I get? Wednesday's and Sunday's?" Tamsin asked with a laugh, shaking her head, "I'm here to make your life easier Bo, not mess your head up even more. So let's just forget I mentioned it, okay."

"And if I don't want to forget?" Bo asked.

"You're going to have to," Tamsin said with a little smile, "unless you want to have a serious rethink about your current situation…"

Bo looked a little confused. Tamsin spread her wings, ready to launch herself upwards.

"Because I don't share my toys." Tamsin said, flying off into the sky once more.

"I am so clipping that girl's wings." Bo said.

x-x

Later that night Bo arrived at the Dal to find Tamsin chatting to a very attractive woman, Bo could tell from the way Tamsin was acting that it was more than talking, it was flirting. As Bo walked over to the bar she caught Tamsin's eye, the Valkyrie smirked and raised an eyebrow slightly. Bo rolled her eyes and took a seat at the bar.

"Who's that Tamsin is talking to?" she asked Dyson.

"No idea," Dyson said, "she's barely said a word to me all night, think she's still pissed about me letting you in earlier."

"Did she talk to you about it?" Bo asked, her eyes once again wandering over to the blonde.

"She mentioned something about a chat the two of you had in the car…" Dyson said.

"Did she tell you what it was about?" she asked.

"Yeah…" Dyson replied.

"And?" Bo said.

"And… I think this is your shit to work out," Dyson said, "I love you Bo, you know that, but I can't make this choice for you. Hell if I could I'd have you all to myself."

Bo smiled a little.

"But I can't," he continued, "I just want you to be happy Bo, as long as I'm a part of your life in some way, that's enough for me. Tamsin means a lot to me too Bo, she deserves to be happy. Who knows, it might convince her to change her mind…"

Bo looked back over at Tamsin, just in time to see the blonde stand up and walk over to the bar.

"So, what's your new friend called?" Bo asked.

"Not sure," Tamsin said, waiting for Trick to come and serve her, "it's not really her name I'm interested in. Surely you can appreciate that."

Bo laughed.

"I know the names of every person I've had sex with Tamsin." Bo said, "Or at least I did at the time."

Tamsin smiled a little.

"What can I get you Tamsin?" Trick asked.

"Usual for me and a whiskey for…" she started to say.

"Her friend." Bo said, completing Tamsin's sentence.

"Don't get jealous there Succubus." Tamsin said with a smirk as Trick went to get the drinks.

"Nothing to be jealous of right." Bo said.

"Right." Tamsin replied.

Trick brought the drinks over.

"Thanks Trick," Tamsin said, picking up the drinks, "enjoy your night Bo…"

Tamsin started to walk back to the table.

"Enjoy your date Tamsin." Bo said.

Tamsin stopped in her tracks before she continued to walk to the table, Bo was so sure she was going to turn around with some smart-ass remark, but she didn't, she just smiled at the brunette sitting next to her and carried on as if nothing had happened.

"Valkyrie's don't 'do' dates Bo." Trick said, "nor do they do relationships, unless…"

Dyson stopped him by shooting him a look and shaking his head a little.

"Unless…?" Bo asked, urging her grandfather to continue.

Trick didn't say anything.

"Trick," Bo said, "tell me, they don't do relationships unless…?"

Trick looked at Dyson.

"What are you two not telling me?" Bo asked, raising her voice a little louder than she should have.

Tamsin looked over to the bar, after Bo's little outburst the previous day it bothered Tamsin when Bo raised her voice.

"Seriously," Bo said, "you all know a lot more than you're letting on, why is nobody giving me a straight answer?"

Bo stood up, Tamsin followed suit, ready to stop the Succubus if anything got out of hand.

"If a Valkyrie falls in love…" Lauren said, walking into the bar.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Tamsin said, looking at Lauren.

"Oh come on Tamsin," Lauren said, "you're the one who is big on the truth, you really should tell her about a Valkyrie literally slowly dying when they have to watch the person they love with someone else."

Tamsin closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she had to remember that Lauren was human and she meant a lot to Bo, or she'd make the not so good lady doctor's head explode.

"What's she talking about Tamsin?" Bo asked.

Tamsin opened her eyes and looked at Bo.

"If a Valkyrie is stupid enough to fall in love," Tamsin said, hoping that she was putting on a good show at keeping her emotions in check, "it happens once in a Valkyrie's life, and if they have to watch the person they love be with someone else, it slowly kills them. They literally die of a broken heart."

"Which is why Acacia said love will get you killed…" Dyson said.

Tamsin nodded.

"Sure is Wolf-man," Tamsin said, "so that's what Lauren is trying to tell you."

Bo looked into Tamsin's eyes; for once the Valkyrie was doing a brilliant job at hiding her emotions from the Succubus.

"What else happens if a Valkyrie falls in love?" Bo asked.

"The usual crap that usually happens when someone falls in love I'd suspect." Tamsin said, keeping her face void of all emotion and feeling.

"They put themselves between the person they love and danger," Lauren said, "always turn up when needed…"

Tamsin locked eyes with Lauren; she knew that Lauren knew exactly what she was doing. If Bo found out just how deep Tamsin's feelings for her were, she'd flip. Tamsin had always made a point of being honest with Bo, even when she knew the Succubus didn't want to hear it, but this was something that Bo didn't need to know. It wouldn't change anything, as Tamsin had told Acacia Bo had chosen Lauren.

"She chose you Lauren," Tamsin said, "leave it alone."

"Tamsin…?" Bo said.

No one noticed as the hot brunette Tamsin had been drinking with stood up and left the table.

"A Valkyrie doesn't choose to fall in love, it's not a choice," Tamsin said, "it just… happens… the person that they fall for, the warrior their Valkyrie chooses, becomes the centre of their universe. They would do anything for that person."

"Even die, willingly?" Lauren asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you Lauren?" Tamsin asked, "Why does any of this matter to you? You gonna turn me human for having a crush on your girl?"

"I think we all know it's a little more than a crush Tamsin." Lauren said.

"I'm out of here." Tamsin said.

She downed her drink, grabbed her jacket and walked towards the door. Bo walked after her, grabbing her arm, stopping her leave.

"Don't…" Tamsin said.

Tamsin turned to face Bo.

"Do you love me Tamsin?" Bo asked.

Tamsin looked at the others, who were all looking at the two of them to see if Tamsin had the guts to finally tell Bo, or if she'd lie yet again. Tamsin took a deep breath and looked back at Bo.

"To the moon and back…" she said quietly, "but you're not my destiny Bo…"

Tamsin pulled her arm out of Bo's grasp and walked out of the Dal into the cold night air.

As soon as she was away from the Dal she stopped and leant up against a wall. Taking deep breaths she tried to steady her nerves, her heart was literally aching, she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Pull it together Valkyrie," she said to herself, "you're not going to be here much longer, and it's not like she could ever feel the same about you, you're a monster."

With that she let her wings out and took off flying into the night sky.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Starts off funny, kinda goes to shit. Sorry. Read, review and enjoy!**_

Chapter Seven

Tamsin nearly fell off the roof of the porch way at the Clubhouse, where she had been waiting for a couple of hours, as Bo arrived back from the Dal.

"What up Succubus?" Tamsin said.

"What the hell was that?" Bo asked Tamsin.

"Not the most gracious of landings ever," Tamsin said, "but I landed on my feet. Someone must have moved the porch or something…"

"Or you might be drunk." Bo replied.

"That might have a tiny something to do with it." Tamsin said with a laugh.

"What are you doing here Tamsin?" Bo asked.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing after the total mind fuck at the Dal earlier." Tamsin said.

"You mean when you told me you loved me then left?" Bo asked.

"Yeah, that." Tamsin replied, "But, you know, in my defence, if it hadn't been for Lauren I wouldn't have had to tell you… you know I can't lie to you Bo."

"Yet you did lie to me Tamsin." Bo said.

"When?" Tamsin asked.

"In the car," Bo replied, crossing her arms over her chest like a 5 year old kid about to throw a temper tantrum, Tamsin couldn't help but laugh, "and what is so funny?"

"Nothing," Tamsin replied, laughing again, "You just… you look like you're going to throw yourself on the floor and start screaming."

Bo looked down at how she was standing and couldn't help but laugh at herself.

"What happened back there Valkyrie?" Bo asked her whole tone and demeanour changing.

"You asked me if I loved you, and I said I did…" Tamsin replied, "But you didn't ask me one big question, am I in love with you."

"Are you?" Bo asked, looking into Tamsin's ice green eyes.

"Truth?" Tamsin asked.

"Truth." Bo replied.

"Yeah," Tamsin said, "I am…"

Bo stepped a little closer to Tamsin, who backed up further.

"But," Tamsin said, "Like I said, I'm not here to make your life any more complicated than it already is."

"Too late for that," Bo said, looking at the Valkyrie, "my life has been nothing but complicated since you arrived. You made me realise that I didn't have to be what everyone was telling me to be, I could just be Bo…"

"That's because you're perfect." Tamsin said with a little smirk.

"And you're drunk." Bo said with a laugh.

"I thought we'd already established that Succubus." Tamsin said.

"I don't know what you want from me Tamsin…" Bo said.

"Nothing…" Tamsin replied, "That's the beauty of this, I expect nothing from you Bo… I just want you to be yourself, be true to yourself and who you really are…"

"And just who is she really Tamsin…" Lauren asked, walking over to them.

"Hey Lauren…" Tamsin said, "Isn't this a surprise…"

"Not really, I am staying the night." Lauren said with a smirk, obviously trying to get a reaction out of Tamsin.

"Of course you are," Tamsin said, not giving in to Lauren's game, she looked at Bo and smiled a little, "I'll see you soon Bo."

Tamsin walked past Bo towards a smirking Lauren.

"You take care of her…" Tamsin said quietly, locking her eyes with Laurens.

Lauren didn't say anything, she just nodded a little.

Tamsin walked past her towards the road.

"See me… soon?" Bo said, more to herself than anyone else, she turned around to find Tamsin, "Tamsin?"

Tamsin stopped and turned back.

"What do you mean you'll see me soon?" Bo asked, "I'll see you tomorrow right?"

Tamsin smiled softly and turned back around, continuing her walk to the road.

x-x

Later that night Bo hadn't been able to reach either Tamsin or Dyson on their phones, or on the phone in the apartment, she had also tried the station for Dyson, only to be told that he hadn't been in that day. She figured that Tamsin was probably sleeping off the alcohol and Dyson may have been out in the woods, so eventually she fell asleep in bed next to an already sleeping Lauren. The following morning she awoke to raised voices.

"How the hell should I know where she is Dyson?" Lauren asked.

"Well she said she was stopping round here, and then would be home," Dyson said, "I'm guessing she stopped by here."

"Yeah," Bo said, walking into the room, "she did."

"Then where did she go?" Dyson asked.

"I don't know," Bo replied, "she said something about seeing me soon and when I asked her about it and asked if I'd see her today, she just smiled and walked away… you don't think maybe she's…"

"It had crossed my mind." Dyson said.

"She wouldn't," Lauren said, "not this soon."

"She's got nothing to lose anymore." Dyson said.

"We need to go to the Dal," Bo said, "if she'd have told anyone where she was going and if she's going to Valhalla, it'll be Trick."

x-x

"Is she gone?" Bo asked as she walked into the Dal.

"Who?" Trick asked.

"Tamsin," Bo said, "who do you think… last night she said she'd see me soon, this morning she's nowhere to be found and no one can reach her on her phone."

"You mean this phone?" Trick asked, holding up Tamsins phone.

"Trick, what's going on?" Bo asked.

"Tamsin has gone away for a few days," Trick said, "to clear her head, organise her thoughts, before…"

"Before she kills herself…" Dyson said, "Did she say if she was coming back here before she goes to Valhalla?"

"She said she would," Trick replied, "She gave me her blood oath that she'd be back before she left."

"Well that's something I guess…" Bo said, "Do you know where she went?"

"I do," Trick said, "but she asked me not to tell you. She did however tell me to pass on this note."

Trick handed Bo a handwritten note from Tamsin.

_Hey Succubus, before you start worrying that pretty little head of yours I'll be back before I leave again. I've just got a few things to work through and need to be alone to do them, well not alone as Acacia will be with me, but you get what I mean. I said I'll see you soon, and I will. Don't worry Succubus, this isn't goodbye, it's just see you later. Tx_

Bo put the note in her pocket.

"She'll be back in a few days…" Bo said.

x-x

Tamsin and Acacia were in the clearing at the back of the cabin, fire burning between them as they both lay there looking at the stars.

"So you told her that you're in love with her, then what?" Acacia asked.

"Then I told her I didn't want to complicate her life any more than it already is." Tamsin replied.

"You had her there, alone, and you chickened out?" Acacia asked.

"There was nothing to chicken out of," Tamsin said, "Lauren turned up…"

"That bitch has a lot to answer for." Acacia said.

"Yet for some reason Bo just doesn't see the bad in Lauren…" Tamsin said with a sigh, "saying that she doesn't see the bad in me either… so Lauren would have to turn into the Hitler of the Fae for Bo to even bat an eyelid."

"I wish you'd stop talking about yourself like you're some kind of monster Tams…" Acacia said.

"If I'm not a monster, what am I?" Tamsin asked, "I've killed more people than I can even remember, and I enjoyed doing it."

"You're a Valkyrie Tamsin," Acacia replied, "you followed orders, you followed the call… you're not a monster. I do have one question though…"

"Shoot." Tamsin said.

"Why didn't you tell the Succubus how you felt sooner?" Acacia asked.

"Because I was scared, for the first time in my life I was actually scared," Tamsin replied, "I didn't tell her because all I could think was what if I'm not enough…"

"Enough for what?" Acacia asked.

"Enough for her…" Tamsin said, "Because she is everything to me…"


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay, life got busy. Here we go, on with the story. In this part Tamsin calls Lauren out on her shit, tells Bo how Lauren is seriously bad news, and is basically a pain in the ass. But what else would you expect from everyone's favourite Valkyrie. Read, review and enjoy!**_

Chapter Eight

While Tamsin was away Bo found herself really missing having the Valkyrie around. She knew it was only going to be for a few days, but she still found it hard. Dyson and Lauren both noticed the change in Bo without having Tamsin around, her temper was a lot shorter than usual, she was getting angry about tiny little things. Lauren was starting to worry that maybe Bo felt more for Tamsin that she was letting on, she'd had to fight to get her back from Dyson, she wasn't sure she'd win the next one.

It had been three days since Tamsin went away. Bo, Dyson and Lauren were sitting in the Dal when the door opened and Tamsin walked in.

"Look who's back." Dyson said with a smile, walking over and pulling the Valkyrie into a hug.

"Hey D-Man." Tamsin said, returning the hug.

"You okay?" he asked, as he backed out of the hug a little, looking into Tamsin's eyes.

"Yeah," she said with a little nod and a smile, "needed to clear my head and shit…"

"Did it work?" he asked.

"No." Tamsin replied with a laugh.

They walked over to where Bo and Lauren were sitting. Tamsin noticed two things; firstly Lauren put her arm around Bo as soon as she saw the Valkyrie walking over, in a way that was obviously supposed to tell Tamsin that Bo was hers. The second thing Tamsin noticed was that Bo was wearing the necklace Lauren had given her. There was something familiar about the pendant, Tamsin knew it meant something, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what.

"Hey…" Bo said, as Tamsin sat down at the bar.

"Hey." Tamsin replied with a little smile.

"Welcome back Tamsin." Trick said, "Can I get you a drink?"

"Usual please big guy." Tamsin replied.

"I'll be right back." Lauren said, kissing Bo before heading to the bathroom.

Tamsin watched the human leave before looking at Bo.

"Cute necklace." She said.

"Lauren gave me it…" Bo replied.

"Can I have look?" Tamsin asked.

"Sure…" Bo replied.

Tamsin moved the pendant away from Bo's chest, noticing the Succubus take a sharp intake of breath as Tamsin's fingers touched her, the Valkyrie decided to let it go. She let out a little laugh when she saw what the pendant was.

"What?" Bo asked.

"Nothing…" Tamsin said, with a shake of her head, and another little laugh, "nothing at all…"

She let the pendant fall back to Bo's chest.

"Seriously Tamsin," Bo said, "what?"

"That necklace," Tamsin said, "do you know what it means?"

"No." Bo replied.

"It's an ancient Fae symbol," Tamsin said, "a long time ago it used to be given in place of a wedding ring… it basically means she owns your ass."

"What?" Bo asked.

Tamsin shrugged.

"Maybe Lauren doesn't know what it means," Tamsin said, "Maybe she just thinks it's _pretty_…"

The Valkyrie pretty much spat out the last word, turning her attention back to her drink as Lauren returned from the bathroom.

"Lauren… does the symbol on this necklace mean anything?" Bo asked.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked.

"Well I've quickly come to learn that most symbols mean something in the Fae world," Bo said, "there are symbols of ownership, like the one you used to wear… does this one mean anything?"

"Not that I know of." Lauren said with a little smile, "I just liked it."

Tamsin laughed a little.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"Nothing…" Tamsin said, shaking her head a little.

"Have you got a problem Tamsin?" Lauren asked.

"I've got a shit load of problems doc," Tamsin said, "Which ones do you want to talk about?"

The Doctor and the Valkyrie locked eyes, Tamsin had her jaw clenched but a smirk on her face, and Lauren's eyes were narrowed as she looked at the blonde.

"Instead of talking about my problems, why don't we talk about yours?" Tamsin said, "why don't we talk about… oh I know, your inability to tell the truth."

"Tamsin…" Dyson said.

"No, I am so sick of this shit," Tamsin replied, "that pendant, you know exactly what it means and why the Fae stopped using it. You want to own someone, be honest about it. She isn't your property, she isn't anyone's property. You can't own someone as free as she is Lauren, you know that. Bo can't be owned, she can't be contained, and that bothers you. You're worried that she's going to wake up one day and realise just how much of a psychopath you really are."

Lauren laughed.

"If either of us is a psychopath, it's you." Lauren said, "The signs are all there Tamsin, poor impulse control, poor behavioural restraints. You lack empathy, have a disdain for close attachments, you defy authority, you're destructive. Need I continue?"

"I'm not the one who destroys everything around her Lauren," Tamsin said, "sure I come across as cold, and heartless, but that's because I've been around long enough to know that letting people get close only opens you up to pain in the long run. You want to use your medical knowledge to point out my issues? Let's look at yours, you're a pathological liar, you just can't help it, you open your mouth and shit just comes spilling out. You're irresponsible; your choices always put other people in danger. You show no guilt or remorse for what you've done. You're controlling, you're demanding, you're like a child at times. You never accept responsibility for your actions. You're emotionally shallow. You're callous… Need_ I_ continue?"

Lauren didn't say anything.

"But," Tamsin continued, "I keep forgetting, everything you've done, you've done for Bo, right. I mean, that's why you're still here isn't it, why we have to go out of our way to protect you, for Bo… you've pissed off a lot of people Lauren, both human and Fae. You've killed people."

"What's she talking about Lauren?" Bo asked.

"You mean you didn't tell her?" Tamsin asked.

"Shut up Tamsin." Lauren replied.

"Or what?" Tamsin asked, standing up, "you'll turn me human, or are you going to plant a pipe bomb under my bed?"

Lauren, again, didn't say anything.

Tamsin laughed a little.

"You know what," she said, downing her drink, "I'm out of here. I've had a weird few days."

As Tamsin was leaving the Dal Bo stood up, to follow her out.

"Let her go, Bo." Lauren said, putting her hand on Bo's arm.

The Succubus turned to Lauren.

"No…" she said.

"Bo, please…" Lauren said.

Bo turned and followed Tamsin out of the Dal.

The Valkyrie hadn't got very far.

"Wait up Valkyrie." Bo called after her.

Tamsin stopped and waited, it didn't take long for Bo to catch her up.

"So," Bo said, walking next to the blonde, "what did you get up to while you were away?"

"Not much," Tamsin replied with a shrug, "drank a lot, shot the shit out of things… talked…"

"I missed you, you know." Bo said quietly.

"It was three days Bo." Tamsin said.

"I know, but it felt like a lot longer than that." Bo replied, "Why did the Fae stop using this symbol…?"

"It became a symbol of ownership," Tamsin said, "after the rebellion it was forbidden for one Fae to own another… It was never intended to be what it became, it was supposed to be a symbol of love and devotion, but it didn't remain that way… she wants to own you Bo… control you…"

Tamsin stopped and looked at the Succubus, Bo was processing what Tamsin had just said.

"I know you love her," Tamsin continued, "I know that you think she's the one who can give you a normal life, which you so obviously crave… but you're not normal Bo, you're Fae. You're special. Even in our world you're unique… This…"

She lifted the pendant off Bo's chest.

"This is the kind of normal life Lauren wants to give you," she said, "you're worth so much more than that Bo… you're amazing. Like I've said, I've never met anyone like you… I figured I'd seen pretty much everything there was to see; I've been places and seen things that most other people can only dream about. I thought there was nothing left in this world that could surprise me… then I met you. For a long time this world wasn't a place I wanted to live in anymore, it stopped being fun and became like a prison… Then I was sent here to find you and all that changed. You made me see what it was like to live again. You gave me a reason to fight again, when I thought there was nothing left to fight for…"

"Tamsin…" Bo said.

"Let me finish, please," Tamsin said, "I've been going over and over this in my head for the last three days, please let me get it out…"

Bo nodded and smiled a little.

"I would willingly give up everything for you…" Tamsin continued, "I would go to the ends of the Earth and back just to see you smile… You're my warrior Bo, the one my heart has chosen… I don't want anything from you; I don't need anything from you… I just want you to know that I'm here for you, to protect you, to fight for you…"

"Yet you're going to kill yourself to try and rescue Kenzi…" Bo said, looking into the ice green eyes that were currently looking back at her, she noticed the tears building in Tamsin's eyes.

"She's your heart Bo," Tamsin said, "your anchor… the person who makes you feel normal and special all at the same time…"

Bo smiled a little, remembering the day she had said those words to Tamsin.

"I've done a lot of things in my life that I regret, I've hurt people, killed people…" Tamsin said, "The world isn't going to fall apart without me in it… your world won't fall apart without me, but it will without her. You need her Bo."

"I need you." Bo said.

"No you don't," Tamsin said, with a small smile, using her thumb to softly wipe the tears from Bo's cheek, "you don't need me Bo. I'll only complicate things even more. You have a lot of love to give and one day you're going to find someone who is worthy of that love… that person isn't me…"

"Surely that's for me to decide." Bo said.

"You might be my destiny Bo," Tamsin replied, "but I'm not yours… One day you'll understand that…"

Tamsin turned to walk away. Bo grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Why do you always try and walk away from me?" Bo asked.

"To stop you doing something you'll regret." Tamsin replied, turning back to face the Succubus, "you don't need me around complicating your life Bo, you love Lauren, you chose Lauren… and she's waiting for you…"

Bo reached up and grabbed the necklace that Lauren had given her, pulling it from her neck she threw it to the ground. She smiled a little at the look of confusion on Tamsin's face.

"Sometimes you've just got to go for it…" Bo said, placing her hand softly on Tamsin's cheek, "right…"

Tamsin swallowed hard as Bo slowly brought their lips together. It took her a few moments to return the kiss, but as she did she suddenly felt all the pieces of her life fall into place. The world finally made sense to her, and she realised that her world was now standing in her arms.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Here you go guys, another update. Probably not what you were all expecting, but it's been one of those days. Please don't forget to drop me a review, let me know what you think, I love hearing all your ideas about where this should go. Read, review and enjoy!**_

Chapter Nine

The following morning Bo decided to stop by the Dark Compound to talk to Lauren, she knew things between them were going to be weird since she walked out of the Dal the previous night without even so much as a goodnight, and she hadn't returned any of Laurens 36 missed calls either. Sometimes all she could see was a future with Lauren, and then other times, like the previous night, she couldn't see anything beyond the ice green eyes that seemed to burn a hole in the centre of her soul. Tamsin always had a way of looking at Bo and seeing right through her walls and defences, the Valkyrie could see who Bo really was, and deep down that scared the Succubus. She had never met anyone who could see all of her, her fears and her dreams, yet Tamsin could, and still she didn't run. There had always been something between them; Bo had known it for a long time. She hadn't wanted to accept it or confront it, knowing if she did she'd probably lose some people closest to her. Before her rebirth Tamsin had been this cocky, arrogant, self-assured asshole that, at times, really rubbed Bo the wrong way. But underneath all the attitude Bo had always seen something greater trying to escape.

She hadn't intended to kiss the Valkyrie the previous night; she had fully intended to hear her out, walk her home, then leave. But it hadn't happened that way. Tamsin had let it all out, everything that she had kept bottled up, and her words had reached the very recesses of Bo's senses.

As she walked into the lab at the Dark Compound Bo had to focus her mind on the matter at hand. Lauren. The doctor was sitting looking into one of her many microscopes, the thing that Lauren was looking at was projected onto the screen but Bo still had no idea what it was. There was so much to do with Lauren's work that she still couldn't even begin to understand.

"Morning…" Bo said.

Lauren turned in her chair, nearly knocking the microscope off the work bench.

"Bo…" she said with a smile, standing up and walking over to the Succubus, "I was hoping you'd stop by today."

"Oh yeah?" Bo asked, forcing a smile in return.

"What's the matter?" Lauren asked.

"Nothing," Bo said, shaking her head a little, "so, what's got you all excited about hoping I'd stop by today?"

"Two things," Lauren said with an excited smile, "first thing I wanted to apologise about last night, I shouldn't have blown up the way I did at Tamsin. I mean, it's not your fault she's in love with you right, and it's not like you could ever feel the same way…"

Bo didn't say anything; she just forced another smile, which seemed to be enough for Lauren.

"The second thing," Lauren continued, "and this is actually the most important bit… I think I've finally cracked it."

"Cracked what?" Bo asked, a little alarmed at Lauren's current state.

"I may have finally figured out the correct composition for your injections," Lauren replied, "you won't have to feed elsewhere anymore."

"Really?" Bo asked, "that's er… that's great Lauren. How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Oh, I didn't," Lauren said, turning away from Bo as she walked back over to the work bench, "I had this idea while I was sitting in the Dal last night; after you left I decided to come here and work it out."

"You've been here all night?" Bo asked.

"Yeah," Lauren replied with a smile, "that's why I was calling you, to let you know."

"Oh…" Bo said, "Sorry about not answering, I totally forgot that my phone was on silent."

"It's okay," Lauren said, "what time did you get back home anyway?"

"A couple of hours after I left the Dal," Bo said, Lauren's look turned a little more serious hearing it, "I walked Tamsin back to Dyson's, we got talking… lost track of time, that's all."

Lauren nodded a little.

"And what did you talk about?" Lauren asked.

"The usual stuff…" Bo replied.

"Like?" Lauren asked.

"Kenzi, mostly." Bo said.

"Ah, I see…" Lauren said, "I need to run a few more tests on this but it should be ready this afternoon."

"That's great Lauren…" Bo said, watching as the doctor turned back to her microscope, "actually, Lauren, it's not great."

"What do you mean it's not great?" Lauren asked, turning to face Bo.

"Well, for this relationship it's great, of course it is," Bo said, "but… it's just not me Lauren…"

"I did this for us Bo…" Lauren said.

"I know, I know…" Bo said, taking a deep breath and deciding to just get it all out, "I know that you've done a lot for me Lauren, and I appreciate it, really I do… I love you… But completely curbing my hunger… that's just not me Lauren. It's part of who I am… you can't change who and what I am Lauren…"

"I'm not trying to…" Lauren replied.

"Yes you are," Bo said, "the injections, the necklace… all of it."

"Everything I've done…" Lauren said.

"You've done for us, I know!" Bo said, starting to feel herself getting a little angry, "but by stopping me from being who I am, you are stopping us. I've had people telling me what to do, what to think, for the last 5 years. Always someone saying 'well Bo, this is what you should do'. I'm done Lauren. I'm done pretending I'm something I'm not. I'm living my life, for me. Not for Trick, Dyson or you, for me."

"Where's your necklace Bo?" Lauren asked.

"I took it off," Bo replied, "actually I ripped it off and threw it on the floor. You cannot control me Lauren and I don't want to be owned."

"This is Tamsin talking, not you…" Lauren said.

"Actually, this is me," Bo said with a little smile, "I'm done Lauren. If you want to be with me, you have to accept me for everything I am, faults and all… though some people wouldn't call them faults, they accept you for everything you are…"

"She's just going to hurt you in the long run Bo." Lauren replied.

"She isn't going to be here in the long run," Bo said, "or have you forgotten her current plans to get to Valhalla and rescue Kenzi."

"She's selfish enough not to go through with that if you make her think she stands a chance with you." Lauren said.

"She does stand a chance with me Lauren," Bo said, "for however long she decides to stick around… and if you really think that about her, you don't know her at all."

Bo turned and started to leave the lab.

"I will fight for you Bo." Lauren said.

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Bo said quietly, walking out of the lab and out of the Compound.

x-x

Tamsin was playing pool with Dyson when she stopped what she was doing and looked towards the door.

"What?" Dyson asked.

"I don't know…" Tamsin said.

At that moment Bo walked in, Tamsin laughed to herself a little.

"Nothing dangerous." She said with another laugh looking at Dyson.

"Depends on your definition of dangerous." He replied with a laugh.

Tamsin laughed again, turning her attention from the Succubus back to the game.

"My shot?" she asked.

"Yeah." Dyson replied with a little smile, "So what happened last night?"

"What do you mean?" Tamsin asked.

"I mean, Bo walked you home right, when you left here and she followed." He said.

"Yep." Tamsin replied, lining up her shot, "what of it?"

Dyson timed his next line perfectly.

"I could smell her on your jacket last night." Dyson said.

Tamsin went to hit the white ball, miss-hitting it and sending it in the direction of Dyson's head, the wolf put his hand up and caught the ball before it hit him square in the face.

"Good catch…" Tamsin said.

"So what happened T?" Dyson asked, placing the ball back on the table.

"Nothing," Tamsin said, "we… talked, that's all…"

Dyson nodded.

"The thought of talking to Bo made you launch a pool ball at my face?" he asked, "You two must have some really… interesting conversations."

Tamsin rolled her eyes a little as Dyson laughed.

"Look, Dyson, dude…" Tamsin started to say, fidgeting with the pool cue that was in her hands, "I'm not trying to complicate anything, you know, I…"

"Tamsin, I know," Dyson said, interrupting her, "I know… and I know how much you've been fighting this, and how much you didn't want to accept it. I also know how much of a big thing it is when a Valkyrie falls in love… does it bother me that you had to fall for Bo, you bet…"

Tamsin laughed a little.

"But then again you always do try to one up me all the time," he continued, "You're an amazing person Tamsin, and you've been one of the best partners I've ever had… If being with Bo will keep you here…"

"Is that what you think?" Tamsin asked, "That she'll keep me here? Is that why you're so okay with it?"

"Tamsin that's not what I meant…" Dyson said.

"Of course it's not," Tamsin said, "and of course that's not the reason she kissed me last night… how could I be so fucking stupid."

"Tamsin, will you calm down." Dyson replied.

"Calm down…" Tamsin said with a nod, "yeah… you know what… this isn't going to keep me here, it isn't going to stop me going to Valhalla and rescuing Kenzi…"

Bo looked over at Tamsin and Dyson from where she was sitting at the bar. She could see Tamsin getting progressively more pissed off, before the Valkyrie stormed off to the bathroom, shouting something about people needing to stay the fuck out of her business.

"What was that about?" Bo asked, walking over to the pool table.

"I may have just put my foot in it…" Dyson replied.

"You think…" Bo said, looking in the direction of the bathroom, "what did you say to her?"

"I asked her what happened last night, cause I could smell you on her jacket when I got in last night," Dyson said, "I meant it in a joking manner and at first she took it that way… then I tried to explain to her that, even though I'm not happy about the idea of not being with you, if you make her happy and give her a reason to stay…"

"So she thinks I kissed her last night to keep her here?" Bo asked.

"Yeah," Dyson replied, "that's the idea she got anyway…"

"Nicely done Dyson," Bo said, "great, thanks…"

Bo sighed and walked to the bathroom. She knocked on the main door, knowing that Tamsin was the only one in there, and knowing that the Valkyrie was probably not actually using the bathroom.

"Go away!" Tamsin shouted.

"Not likely Valkyrie…" Bo said, opening the door and walking in, closing the door behind her.

"Seriously Bo," Tamsin said, "now really isn't a good time."

"It's as good a time as any." Bo replied. "I er… I ended it with Lauren."

"What?" Tamsin asked.

"Earlier," Bo said, "I stopped by the Dark Compound, she was talking all crazy about having finally got the right composition with the injections to mean I wouldn't have to feed elsewhere, I just kinda… I kinda snapped. Told her she couldn't control me, and she couldn't change what I am… said if she wanted to be with me then she had to accept me for who and what I am… because I know someone else who accepts all my flaws and imperfections…"

"Bo," Tamsin said, "you have no flaws, your imperfections are perfectly imperfect… you are what you are, and what you are is an amazing, unique woman, that has completely turned my world upside down… which is why _this_…"

She motioned between them.

"Can't happen." Tamsin replied, "I am completely and totally in love with you… but… _she_ gave me everything, and… I can't leave her there knowing there's a way to get her back."

"I know…" Bo said.

"Anything happening between us isn't going to stop me… leaving." Tamsin said.

"I know…" Bo repeated.

"So we just forget the kiss happened, okay?" Tamsin asked.

"No…" Bo said, finally looking into Tamsin's eyes, "we make sure you enjoy the time you have before you… leave."


End file.
